where does self-esteem come from?

[MrUK4U]

Hi,

Yes, I too tend to feel a total lack of self-esteem...mainly, because, I'm
unemployed/and, totally flat broke/can't even afford to pay all of the,
constantly, incoming bills, bills, BILLS!!!

And, also, I feel both ugly, and, old...in fact, I'm, currently, middle aged,
40...; but, just wish to be 20 all over again, once more...; like that is ever
going to happen?! And, no matter how much exercise I try...

So, yes, I do agree with you being both rich, and, good looking, I think, would
certainly help me with feeling a hell of a lot better self-esteem.

But, I also know that there are people out there who are neither rich/nor good
looking...yet, their self-esteem still tends to be extremely high, too, as
well. So, perhaps, there is something more going on here...including the way we
see ourselves from deep down inside.

Namely, I think, if you quite honestly do believe in yourself...then, your
self-esteem will be strong...; but, on the other hand, if you don't believe in
yourself...then, most probably, nobody else is ever going to be able to,
neither?!

I think, though, at the end of the day, we need to learn to both love, and,
accept ourselves as we, quite truly, are...; yes, that is with warts and all.
And, that is the big secret of ever finding TRUE HAPPINESS...; namely, it's NOT
something we can ever get from outside of ourselves...; but, something we can
only get from deep down inside of ourselves, alone.

TRUE HAPPINESS lies within...then, to hell with any body elses either
praises/or, scorn...as all of this external stuff doesn't really mean nothing?!
Especially, if you do both love, and, respect yourself deep down within.

GOOD LUCK

Bye4now!/BEST wishes, always!/-Paul(UK/London)

PS: Have a NICE day!
;-)





Subject: where does self-esteem come from?
From: ***@hotmail.com
Date: 11/09/03 16:25 GMT Daylight Time
Message-id: <***@posting.google.com>

I was just wondering. I think it comes from us, but then i sometiems
feel bad because of what others do to me. Is it socially bound??? or
does it come from inside me. I mean, if i'm goodlooking and rich, then
i am happy with myself. If not, then i feel depressed. Does anyone
ever feel like this??? I sometimes hate myself... A LOT. i can't be
the only one. Can anyone help me???

[NO-COPY]

I feel the same way. That if I was rich that I wouldnt have half the
problems I have with myself. I hate myself alot. I wish I was a better
person. Everytime I move ahead in some way someone always has it better
than me
I'm so scared of losing my gf that it pains me everytime I think about how
much more successful she is than me
I want to marry her but I dont know whats going to happen I wish I could
just crawl into a hole that doesnt exist here and then I wouldnt have to
worry about anything going wrong.

[Michael Huxley]

This may be a little too late in coming, but I would like to say that
suddenly being rich will not change the way you feel about yourself. If you
had generated your wealth through your own abilties and efforts you would
not feel the way you do now and there would be no posting from you. Because
you feel the way you do now, you will not become rich in an "esteemed" way
and you will, therefore, carry on as you are now. HOWEVER, find a way to
change your feelings about yourself and not compare yourself to your
girlfriend or anyone else, learn how to believe in yourself and LOVE
yourself, find out who you really are deep inside and BECOME that person,
you will no longer want to be rich in financial terms, you will see yourself
as rich in personal terms (much better than being a miserable millionaire)
and be happy. About the girlfirend; it is your self-perception that is the
barrier to a happy future, she may just accept you as you are and be happy
for you when you DO find your own internal happiness. Don't overlay your own
feelings onto hers, which may be much more positive about you than yours
are. I have had similar feelings to you for at least 15 YEARS and I have a
wife who loves me for what I am, warts and all, and she is much more
"successful" than I am. I am only just learning about self-realisation and
its rewards and I am beginning to feel better about myself. Not much, but
it's a start. Understanding that I CAN get out from under has made me feel
much more positive about myself.

Forget about the hole or any approach like it. Choose the positive approach
and you will win. The Net abounds in free and useful information and
guidance to get up and get out of the mire. Believe me, you can do it.
Remember that the longest journey begins with a single step. Your first step
is to accept that you can do it. I have just read a book on "visualisation",
a way of creating your desired future in your mind so that you can create
it, as you want it, in reality. That has put me on the right path. It is
called "Visualization: The key to fulfilment", by Michael Page published by:
The Aquarian Press ISBN 0-85030-928-X.

Mike H

Post by NO-COPY
I feel the same way. That if I was rich that I wouldnt have half the
problems I have with myself. I hate myself alot. I wish I was a better
person. Everytime I move ahead in some way someone always has it better
than me
I'm so scared of losing my gf that it pains me everytime I think about how
much more successful she is than me
I want to marry her but I dont know whats going to happen I wish I could
just crawl into a hole that doesnt exist here and then I wouldnt have to
worry about anything going wrong.

[Giga news]

mmm I disagree. I'm fairly successfull interms of money, but it doesn't lend
to myself esteem. It just means I can afford to go out and do shop therapy,
which really doesn't help and just means I've now got a bunch of crap that
takes up space.

I don't know the answer to building self-esteem. From looking at several of
the post's, I'm given the impression of a boat load of blind men all trying
to figure out what some object is and each coming up with equally ludicrace
conclusions. Course I'm just as blind as the rest of you so maybe one of you
is right and I'm wrong. Honest, guys, it's a elephant!
John

Post by Michael Huxley
This may be a little too late in coming, but I would like to say that
suddenly being rich will not change the way you feel about yourself. If
you had generated your wealth through your own abilties and efforts you
would not feel the way you do now and there would be no posting from you.
Because you feel the way you do now, you will not become rich in an
"esteemed" way and you will, therefore, carry on as you are now. HOWEVER,
find a way to change your feelings about yourself and not compare yourself
to your girlfriend or anyone else, learn how to believe in yourself and
LOVE yourself, find out who you really are deep inside and BECOME that
person, you will no longer want to be rich in financial terms, you will
see yourself as rich in personal terms (much better than being a miserable
millionaire) and be happy. About the girlfirend; it is your
self-perception that is the barrier to a happy future, she may just accept
you as you are and be happy for you when you DO find your own internal
happiness. Don't overlay your own feelings onto hers, which may be much
more positive about you than yours are. I have had similar feelings to you
for at least 15 YEARS and I have a wife who loves me for what I am, warts
and all, and she is much more "successful" than I am. I am only just
learning about self-realisation and its rewards and I am beginning to feel
better about myself. Not much, but it's a start. Understanding that I CAN
get out from under has made me feel much more positive about myself.
Forget about the hole or any approach like it. Choose the positive
approach and you will win. The Net abounds in free and useful information
and guidance to get up and get out of the mire. Believe me, you can do it.
Remember that the longest journey begins with a single step. Your first
step is to accept that you can do it. I have just read a book on
"visualisation", a way of creating your desired future in your mind so
that you can create it, as you want it, in reality. That has put me on the
right path. It is called "Visualization: The key to fulfilment", by
Michael Page published by: The Aquarian Press ISBN 0-85030-928-X.
Mike H

Post by NO-COPY
I feel the same way. That if I was rich that I wouldnt have half the
problems I have with myself. I hate myself alot. I wish I was a better
person. Everytime I move ahead in some way someone always has it better
than me
I'm so scared of losing my gf that it pains me everytime I think about how
much more successful she is than me
I want to marry her but I dont know whats going to happen I wish I could
just crawl into a hole that doesnt exist here and then I wouldnt have to
worry about anything going wrong.